Lessons From a Five-Year-Old
In considering the many psychological aspects to poker, tilt quickly surfaces to the top my list. Of course, this word now quickly connects to “Full Tilt.” And there is a lot of psychology involved with that whole operation, including how they stole so much from so many for so long.
But back to tilt in its more traditional poker definition. How do we typically feel when on tilt? You might have your own unique experience. But for a lot of us, it’s a strange cocktail of emotions, with the following ingredients: irritation, confusion, anxiety, and one big shot of desperation.
The consequences? Poor decision-making, a dwindling chip-stack, and often an embarrassing walk to the rail. Learning how to avoid going on tilt while taking advantage of the tilted player is one of the most fundamental psychological angles of the game.
We tilt for different reasons. Typically, it is an emotional reaction triggered by a bad beat, bad luck, or being repeatedly outplayed (by someone playing better or perhaps worse). But there are other reasons as well. We can also tilt due to a negative reaction or projection to a certain player or funky table dynamic. Alternatively, someone can go on tilt for non-card related reasons (e.g., intoxication, a bad work day, relationship breakup, etc.). In essence, tilted life = tilted player.
Now maybe this is because I’m a Dad. But the player who is on full-blown tilt always reminds me of my 5 year-old. And when he’s on tilt, all hell breaks loose. There is no reasoning with a tilted-kid. And I mean no reasoning. But there is some good news—for your five year old and your poker game. There is something that works: time, space, and distance.
Without question, the best strategy for a tilt-like child tantrum is to have them “walk away” from the situation. Personally, I’m a fan of “the corner.” Which corner is irrelevant—as long as it’s not in front of me. Eventually, that time, space, and distance helps calm the storm. I’ve done experiments. And I’d say it works 95% of the time. Maybe 80%. And in poker, I’ll take 80% of the time, all day long.
The same holds true as adults. When on tilt in life, we need time, space, and distance. Doing so allows us to breathe, settle down, gain perspective, and move forward. Next time you are on tilt, send yourself to the corner. Walk away. Take a lap. Your odds of missing some big monster hand are extremely low. If playing in the WSOP, buy a $13 burrito from the Poker Kitchen or a $2 banana. Whatever. Considering what you would be losing at the tables, it’s a bargain.
In any situation, poker or elsewhere, we can’t do our best thinking when we are overly aroused or stirred up. And poker requires our best thinking to make smart decisions. Like the angry child needs time and space to cool down, so do you. As our autonomic system settles, we are more likely to move into a more ‘thoughtful’ (introspective, reflective, etc.) space. And this is where you want to be in poker (and life). When you get there, you will know. Then you can get back to the table and take advantage of other tilted players.
Just don’t pick on me.
Aaron Rochlen, Ph.D. is a Licensed Psychologist and Associate Professor in Counseling Psychology at the University of Texas. While not at work, in Vegas, or discovering new poker-life parallels, he spends time with his wife and two young children.
