Oh it’s hard to be humble when your perfect in every way
—Singer/songwriter, Mac Davis
Humility is not an attitude toward self. Humility is an attitude toward a power that is bigger than self. Humility represents a willingness to respect powers beyond your control. Humility rejoices in gratitude for blessings received. Humility trusts in the power, and in the joy, of forgiveness. Humility insists on respect for the other, and thus demands integrity. Humility is not selflessness, or self contempt. Humility is not a justification for feeling inferior. Humility is a positive mental attitude. Humility is the essential ingredient in visualizing goals that are bigger than self. Humility is not a denial of your skills and intelligence. Humility recognizes those gifts came from more than self.
Parents, educators, spouses, and God brought those gifts to you, if you were wise you learned to implement them. Humility is a strength of character formed by accepting ones limitations. A genuine spirit of humility is present in those capable of self examination. True humility neither undervalues, nor overrates, achievements. False humility, like excessive pride, is a curse. Do not deny, nor show disrespect for the talents you possess. Humility is elusive. When you think you have it, it has already disappeared in a veil of pride. Humility is not for sale. It can’t be packaged and it can’t be slipped into the next email.
Humility is crucial because the scars you bring to your poker psyche reappear at inconvenient times. Those old scars sneak into your plans to c-bet every time you fear of an aggressive players next move. Your fear of being judged limit your short stack play to “acceptable” strategies rather than winning formulas. Humility is the only prescription for those scars. Pride is shattered by snickers, self-doubt, and slumps. Humility, because it is not about self, cleanses your old wounds with an acceptance of the game of poker for what it is. You are permitted to recall all of life’s blessings in and out of poker. You are encouraged to forgive yourself, and take pride in your skills and talents. Because it is neither selfless nor full of self hate, humility enables you to be focused on playing poker with confident aggression.
With humility you compete within your limitations. Without humility, you will be unable to develop the projective empathy necessary to understand the less talented and the less intelligent of your adversaries. Humility creates a constant reminder that all you know, all you achieve, and all you earn are the result of your team. Humility enables you to reject the temptations of complacency, to constantly prepare, and to strive for improvement. The accurate measure of your talent that humility demands will limit the disappointments that are so common in the arrogant—disappointments that lead to self destructive poker behavior.
Humility can’t be taught, but history tells us that it can be learned.
- Begin by learning to think outside the box. Learning humility through the teachings of David Sklansky is a paradox. However, his joint effort with Dr. Alan Schoonmaker (DUCY) gave birth to the acceleration effect. Refusing to focus on the most recent events, and instead focusing on the big picture, will instill honesty and humility.
- Be sure to put a poker tournament in perspective. A wise man once observed that: “A mountain shames a molehill until both are humbled by the stars”. There exists a fundamental difference between having a healthy respect for each tournament that you enter and the death of a family member. The WSOP championship is but a footnote in history compared to the financial crisis in Europe.
- Small unrewarded kindnesses are conducive to the development of humility. Gifts of charity and community service without recognition are examples of behavior that instill a sense of humility. The search for opportunities to be of service to those in need is both fulfilling and humbling.
- Discard all semblances of envy. Any residue of jealousy diminishes the capacity to rejoice in the blessings you have received. Envy is about self, and therefore inhibits humility.
- Routinely admit your weaknesses. Forming the habits of self-awareness will discourage the temptations of rationalization. Pride cannot survive without rationalization. Humility flourishes where pride is absent. The willingness to share your shortcomings with your spouse, a spiritual adviser, or your coach creates an environment where humility can flourish.
- Take the time to share with those in need. The predatory nature of poker creates an environment where you often overlook opportunities to serve. Recognizing the pain and losses of the craps player and directing him to the safety of Gamblers Anonymous may not endear you to the casino, but it lays a foundation of ethical courage that fosters humility.
- Search for something good to say about everyone. Speaking well of others edifies them and builds them up. When your words are positive and full of exaltation, your humility is in full bloom.
- The search for revenge is a prideful act. Humility grows where the heart is quick to forgive.
- Self adulation suggests that your achievements are one dimensional—all about you. A grateful heart acknowledges the assistance of others and becomes a humble heart.
Jan Siroky is a poker coach in the Colorado area.
